Cuestiones candentes en el "Bergman"
-¿No has
estado en Calamocha, tú?
-¿Qué?
-¿No
has estado en Calamocha?
No
había muchos parroquianos en el “Bergman”, un exquisito bar musical en el que
se escuchaban viejas grabaciones de jazz los lunes y los jueves y un local de
actuaciones en vivo más ruidosas los viernes y los sábados. Aquel día era
domingo, jornada semanal reservada a las actuaciones de grupos de aficionados. Ramón observó al tipo que le había interrogado
tan inopinadamente sobre cuestión tan críptica. Se trataba de un individuo de
mediana edad que parecía disfrazado de predicador, vestido con jersey gris,
chaqueta oscura con coderas y gruesas gafas de pasta.
-Mire,
amigo, no entiendo lo que me está preguntando. Lo cierto es que ni siquiera sé
qué es Calamocha, ni, por supuesto, dónde se encuentra.
-No
importa, amigo, en este mundo facundo, quien no va el primero va el segundo.
El
concierto de aficionados que estaba anunciado para aquella noche era el de un
grupo punk de chicas llamado “Las Clavículas Autoconclusivas”, al que su reducido
séquito de fans conocía habitualmente como “Las Clavículas”. Las chicas, que
contaban con un equipo tan precario que los cables de las guitarras estaban
pelados por varios sitios, sufrían habitualmente varias descargas eléctricas en
el transcurso de sus actuaciones, la cual cosa, dadas las características estridentes
de su estilo vocal y la espectacular tiesura de sus crestas capilares, nadie
entre el público era capaz de advertir.
En la
barra del “Bergman”, Ramón seguía sufriendo el desconcertante acoso del
desconocido con aspecto de reverendo.
-¿Conoce
usted la historia de dos que iban por el camino y uno le decía al otro: “No me
fío de la mitad de la cuadrilla”, y eran padre e hijo?
-No.
Oiga ¿va usted a darme la murga toda la noche?
-Le soy
sincero, no estoy aquí para darle la murga. Estoy esperando a mi chica. Verá, quiero
hacerle una pregunta, cuando llegue.
Ramón
no pudo evitar observar detenidamente la expresión del desconocido, nítidamente
expectante. Se encogió de hombros y preguntó:
-Está
bien, dígame, ¿cuál es la pregunta?
-¿Qué
le dijo la manzana al gusano?
Ramón
apuró su copa y salió al frío de la noche. Tomó el metro, llegó a su domicilio,
un pequeño apartamento atestado de películas y libros de cine, se desvistió, se
acostó y pensó infructuosamente en la respuesta a la pregunta que había
formulado el desconocido. “¡Maldito lunático!”, exclamó mentalmente a las cuatro
de la madrugada, sin poder dar con ella. Poco antes, en el “Bergman”, la chica
del aparente sacerdote de paisano había contestado a su pregunta, sin inmutarse:
“Me gusta que estés dentro de mí” y el tipo había salido a la calle a la
carrera. Llovía a cántaros, pero sonreía.
35 Comments:
Pues hace usted muy bien en creerse un gusano.
Le agradezco mucho su simpático comentario, amigo Anónimo.
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