Lady Filstrup (3ª época)

Dedicado a la música ligera, actores españoles y tebeos de Bruguera (porque sí, porque rima).

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Lugar: El Escorial, Madrid, Spain

domingo, febrero 05, 2017

“La La ¿qué?” o “Cuando te dan gato por liebre y el gato canta como una almeja”

Mi relación con el Séptimo Arte es larga y, en muy modesta medida, fructífera.  Siempre, desde que tengo memoria, he sentido una fuerte vinculación con esta manifestación artística que es, simultáneamente, no lo olvidemos nunca, un espectáculo. No exagero si hablo de fascinación por todo cuanto envuelve y sostiene el fenómeno del cine desde mi más tierna infancia.
Por desgracia (o por suerte, o por mor del calendario, o por la inmisericorde acción de la experiencia), el paso del tiempo provoca que la chispa inmortal se encienda con cada vez menor frecuencia ante el estreno de una nueva película. La ilusión por ver nuevas películas se convierte en experiencias excepcionales como indeseado efecto de la acumulación de visionados. La ilusión es la madre de la decepción, en muchos casos. Y en el caso de “La La Land” (Damien Chazelle, 2016), la película responsable de estas líneas, es la madre y el padre.
El cine, desposeído de alma, es un artilugio de latón, un buñuelo lleno de viento, una rima sin sentido, un fuego de artificio, una forma cara de perder el tiempo. El cine que no conmueve, ni emociona, ni entretiene,  es algo que te agrede, te agota, te incomoda, te ocupa los sentidos en una actividad tan fútil como indigesta. Y eso, a mi juicio, es lo que  representa la multi-archi-premiada “La La Land”, la película que ya ha hecho historia al ser la que acumula más nominaciones a los premios de la Academia de las Ciencias y Artes de Cine de Hollywood, nada menos que catorce. ¿Cómo es posible que un musical con pésimos cantantes y bailarines, coreografía bochornosa, partitura inane, cuyo argumento (cuyo arranque está copiado de "El único juego de la ciudad", plúmbeo film que cerró la carrera de George Stevens en 1970) carece de la menor pizca de interés, dotado de una pareja protagonista que exhibe una ausencia total de química, arrastre a las salas a millones de espectadores? Sólo hay una explicación plausible: el público acude en masa a las salas porque se le ha dicho que va a ver la Octava Maravilla del Universo. Y en lugar de encontrarse con King Kong, se encuentran con la visión de Ryan Gosling y Emma Stone dando unos pasitos de baile como si participaran en “Mira quien baila” y entonando unos gorgoritos sólo soportables en un tema (que por desgracia se repite hasta la extenuación) y perfectamente insufribles en el resto. Que el  distinguido público no sólo no sienta deseos de prender fuego a la sala sino que ni siquiera reclame el importe de sus localidades nos demuestra hasta qué punto la Humanidad ha perdido su capacidad reivindicativa en los últimos dos siglos.
La responsabilidad de este atropello a la razón, de esta insensata tomadura de pelo, recae sobre los críticos de cine, quienes, como cruzados que se arrodillan ante el Santo Grial (con el difunto Graham Chapman a la cabeza, pongo por caso), han certificado la excelencia de una película que, sin el fraudulento refrendo de los premios cosechados en todos los certámenes y festivales del orbe (desde la A hasta la Z), sólo provocaría enojo. Y es que, para un aficionado al cine medio, alguien quien, a los largo de los años, haya disfrutado del cine de Vincent Minnelli, Gene Kelly, Stanley Donen, Bob Fosse o Rouben Mamoulian (a quien cito expresamente por “La bella de Moscú”), presenciar “La La Land” supone un lastre, un incordio, una lata. Con lo cual, deduzco que los jurados que han distinguido tan notablemente el film de Damien Chazelle (cineasta que ya dio muestras de no estar precisamente sobrado de contenido en su anterior y meramente efectista “Whiplash”) no han visto ninguna película musical anterior a los horrores de Baz Luhrmann. Con la concesión de cada galardón a “La La Land” se clava un clavo en el ataúd de la memoria del Cine. Y los críticos, empeñados en proseguir con el sepelio (y quiero pensar que sin haber sido económicamente incentivados para ello. Llámenme ingenuo), han invitado a unirse al funeral a toda la población. Y para ello no han reparado en gastos de adjetivos, ni han escatimado elogios, ni han encontrado parangón suficiente para ensalzar tamaña “Obra Maestra”. Hasta a Schopenhauer han llegado a invocar (Luis Martínez, crítico del diario el Mundo) en su afán de elevar insensatamente tan celebrado bodrio. Sería triste si no resultara tan cómico.
Mi chica y yo, como gran parte de la población cinéfila de nuestros días, vamos cada vez menos al cine. Las dos últimas películas que hemos visto en una sala han sido “Los odiosos ocho” (Quentin Tarantino, 2015) y “La La Land” (2016). ¿Le podría extrañar a alguien que no volvamos a poner un pie en un “local de perdición” semejante? Afortunadamente, se reconcilia uno con el cine cuando, como nos ha pasado recientemente,  descubrimos alguna joya de la Historia del Cine, como el film, producido en 1941, “The Devil and Miss Jones” (dirigido por Sam Wood para la RKO). Una auténtica maravilla protagonizada por Charles Coburn (verdaderamente inmenso), Jean Arthur (sencillamente deliciosa) y un más que aceptable (por una vez) Robert Cummings. En 1941, esta película, que nos ha cautivado 76 años después de su estreno, compartió cartelera con naderías como “Qué verde era mi valle” (John Ford), “Ciudadano Kane” (Orson Welles), “Casablanca” (Michael Curtiz), “La loba” (William Wyler), “Bola de fuego” (Howard Hawks), “El sargento York” (Howard Hawks), “El halcón maltés” (John Huston), ”Juan Nadie” (Frank Capra) o “Si no amaneciera” (Mitchell Leisen) …  Es comprensible que, en cierto modo, “The Devil and Miss Jones” pasara inadvertida. Hoy, en cambio, una perfecta nadería como “La La Land” arrasa con todo.  ¿Vale como reflexión?

Superado el disgusto de “La La Land”, este burgomaestre, que nunca ha pretendido ser nada más que un mero aficionado (al cine, a la música, a la vida…) continúa en su indemandada actividad canora, grabando cancioncillas que compone sin esfuerzo y que sólo pretenden divertirle y dar testimonio de su amor por su chica. Con permiso del respetable, adjunto el último Youtube. Disfrútenlo o súfranlo, pero sean, en cualquier caso, benévolos en su juicio. Es la obra de un “amateur”...

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Querido Burgomaestre, gracias por expresar tan elocuentemente mi sentir. Siempre nos quedará Burgos y los Jersey boys, el paraíso Allen, Triers y su impresionante Ninphomaniac, Luca Guadagnino, Susanne Bier y el 6 Naciones!!
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Veras pequeño y abyecto ser de proporciones descomunales. Yo no te odiaría tanto si hubieras sido un buen padre. Eres un padre que aparte de hacer reir no le has servido absolutamente para nada a tu querida hija. Un inútil, como siempre. Has contado alguna verdad en estos últimos años? Es igual, a quien te rodea, no es la verdad lo que le interesa.

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No tengo ningún interés en defender nada, y menos una película. Ni tampoco te niego el derecho a aborrecer de una película y a hacerlo saber en tu blog, que para eso es tuyo. Pero expresiones como “el público acude en masa a las salas porque se le ha dicho que va a ver la Octava Maravilla del Universo” o “que el distinguido público no sólo no sienta deseos de prender fuego a la sala sino que ni siquiera reclame el importe de sus localidades nos demuestra hasta qué punto la Humanidad ha perdido su capacidad reivindicativa en los últimos dos siglos”, te han sobrado, y mucho. Has insultado a personas que también tienen su propio criterio y que, no por ser el tuyo, es menos respetable. La película me importa un rábano, pero no soporto la prepotencia de quien considera sus gustos tan sagrados hasta el punto de despreciar a esos pobres ignorantes que tienen otros. Hay personas a las que quiero y valoro mucho y que opinan muy distinto de ti respecto a esa película que sólo tú, entre todos los habitantes de la Tierra, ha sabido valorar adecuadamente. Y las has insultado.

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Blogger Los Burgomaestres said...

Si a alguien he ofendido, pido sinceras disculpas. Peco de exagerado en esas consideraciones que señalas, pero debo decir, en mi descargo, que utilizo la exageración como un recurso humorístico, nada más. Ya veo que, en tu caso, sin el menor éxito. En fin, yo sólo hablo desde la autoridad que me do y a mí mismo y que, desde luego no tiene por qué reconocer absolutamente nadie más. A todos los fans de "La la land" les concedo, en desagravio que no es, ni de lejos, la peor película de la historia. Ni siquiera fue la peor película de su año. Hasta estuvo a punto de ser la mejor. :)

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